If you didn't watch America's Next Top Model: All-Stars, you missed out a component that hadn't been seen before on Tyra Banks' inexplicably-addicting modeling competition: branding. That meant that the models were all about commercializing themselves into capital letter, consumer brands like Girlfriend, Free and Candid. Yes, the girls were happy about packaging themselves the way that you might a shoe line or a new fashion designer.
Grossness aside, the emphasis on branding meant that there were different kinds of competition this season. The girls had to make their own perfumes, star in a weird adaptation of Tyra's novel (yes, it's real) and--funniest of all--write their own songs. The beats for the songs were pre-written, but the girls had to pen the lyrics with the only caveat being that they needed to include the phrases "Pot Ledom" and "That's Top Model backwards." Talk about self-referential and--for the backwards bit--strange.
But the best part is that you can now by the compilation album of all of the songs from this season. The album is called America's Next Top Model: Pot Ledom All-Stars Remixes and only costs $4.99 because the longest song is only a little over two minutes. For that price, you get the original songs from each the seven model recording artists, but also the "remix," which probably includes subliminal messages from Tyra. If that doesn't convince you, the single review since the album's release on December 6th gave it one star.
On the album, you'll get Alison Harvard's "Underwater," the only eerie and rave-worthy tune produced on the musical episode, but I wouldn't want it without the accompanying video, featuring a deathly, big-eyed Harvard swinging in an underground playground.
You'll also get Dominique Reighard's "Tooch Your Booty," which speaks to the very relevant problem of making your derriere catch the light of the photographer's camera just so. The really embarrassing song is Lisa D'Amato's--a self-proclaimed "songwriter"--called "I Be Like Whoa," which describes the fame-induced battles required by the performer now performing. Also included is the lyrically complex ballad by Alexandria Everett called "Go, Go, Go," which discusses the difficulties of being a hot girl driving a really nice car.
Plus, see if you can find the reason Angelea Preston was eliminated in subliminal messages on her track "I'm Here" (but she's not! What does it all mean?).
Are you going to pick up Pot Ledom All-Stars Remixes? Or do you already have all of the songs in your iTunes?