"ANTM": Posing with fish

"ANTM": Posing with fish

After last week’s episode of insane music videos and booty tooching, this week was totally lame in comparison, and actually included something resembling a real message. Why, Tyra? I don’t want to tear up; I just want my brain to continue dissolving into the puddle of mush it’s become after eighteen seasons of this show.

Anyway, the obvious next step after making a video called “Stop, Drop N Tooch” is to assign a PSA focusing on encouraging positive body images in young girls! The models all talk about how hard it was for them being ugly young girls, blah blah, and then talk to a couple of actually-probably-teased girls who certainly feel great having thin-and-tall models tell them that beauty doesn’t matter. Learning that beauty doesn’t matter from a model is a great lesson! Give me a break. The Brits win the challenge and get a lame prize of a video message from their friends and family back home.

Next comes a strange and inexplicably-crafted photo shoot. The girls are supposed to be live sculptures at a dinner party hosted by the Brit songstress, Estelle. Like I said, the shoot was really strangely constructed—the models were in high-end dresses posing on a table while holding fish or grapes and smashing meringue into the other girls’ faces. Plus, they had to booty tooch while on the table, which, apparently, is painful. It was almost camp, but stopped short to just be strange and pretty awkward. Estelle probably thought that she was better than amateur night.

In the end, Sophie ends up winning best picture for breaking her back, letting Estelle into the shot and getting one of the other girls to pick gum or something off of her high heel. I guess she won, and I like her, but the shoot was truly awful. In the bottom two are Kyle, who is universally hated in the house and was in the bottom two last week, and Alicia, who won last week’s challenge but can’t seem to pose well on still film. In the end, they send Kyle home because she only has a single deer-in-the-headlights pose she struck in every picture. It got her someplace, though. Alicia got to stick around because she posed well in the backgrounds of the other girls’ pictures.

Looks like next week the girls are going to Beverly Hills with Kelly Catrone. She better make some mayhem.